Five Meaningful Ways to Stay Connected with Your Teen in Boarding School: A Former International Full-Time Boarder’s Perspective

Unlike many of my classmates, whose parents visited them during school breaks or sports events, my parents did not visit as often because of the distance. With 8,000 kilometers and international travel restrictions between us, visiting simply wasn’t feasible.

But despite the distance, I never doubted their love. Over my years in boarding school, we found ways to stay connected, and looking back, I realize how much those efforts meant. If you have a teen in boarding school, especially in another country, I hope my experience offers some insight into ways you can stay close, even from afar.

1. Make Communication a Habit, But Keep It Flexible

One of the best things my parents and I did was establish a consistent communication routine. We FaceTimed three times a week, except during exam seasons when I needed to focus. It gave me a sense of stability, knowing that no matter how busy school got, I’d always have those calls to look forward to. But what meant even more was my mom’s intuitive way of reaching out beyond our scheduled calls. She always seemed to sense when I was feeling stressed or down and would check in with a simple message or a quick call, reminding me that she was always there for me. Moms, trust your instincts—99% of the time, they’re spot on.

Communication in boarding school doesn’t have to be constant or involve long, drawn-out conversations, but it should be meaningful. It’s about creating a rhythm that works for both sides while leaving room for spontaneity. Parents should be attentive to their teen’s emotional state and be ready to reach out when it matters most. Most importantly, listen without judgment. Create a space where your teen feels comfortable opening up—sometimes, just knowing they can talk to you freely makes all the difference.

2. Celebrate Achievements, No Matter the Distance

Despite not being physically present, my parents always found ways to celebrate my accomplishments. Whether I did well on a test or was honored in an assembly, my mom would surprise me with flower deliveries, a heartfelt card, or even a little gift. These gestures made me feel recognized and loved, even when I was thousands of miles away.

It doesn’t take much to make a teen feel valued—maybe a congratulatory email, a small surprise package, or even just a message saying, “I’m proud of you.” It’s about reinforcing that no matter how far apart we are, the joy of achievement is something we still share.

3. Find Small Ways to Share Daily Life

One of my favorite ways of staying connected with my parents was sending them sneak peeks of my daily life—especially secretly snapping pictures of the terrible dining hall food behind the dean’s back! We turned it into a family joke, and every time I sent them a picture of a particularly bad meal, they’d respond with, “When you come home, let’s definitely go for the best food. There’s a new place just a 10-minute walk from home that you haven’t tried yet.” That simple exchange gave me something to look forward to and reminded me that home was waiting for me.

For international students, life in boarding school can sometimes feel like living in two different worlds, but sharing small daily moments keeps that connection alive. Parents can reciprocate by sharing their own daily updates, whether it’s pictures of a favorite meal, a funny incident at home or work, or even just an update on the family pet. It’s not about grand gestures—it’s about feeling involved in each other’s lives, even from a distance.

4. Send Physical Reminders of Home

Another thing I am thankful for was when my parents sent me care packages filled with home food and little memory items from my hometown. The scent of my favorite snacks or a small trinket from home instantly brought warmth to my boarding school room. It wasn’t just about the physical items—it was about feeling a piece of home in my hands.

For parents with children in international boarding schools, sending reminders of home is one of the most powerful ways to bridge the distance. A handwritten letter, a box of childhood snacks, or a small keepsake can mean more than you realize. These tangible tokens of love provide comfort on the toughest days.

5. Say “I Love You” Often and Boldly

One thing I never had to question was my parents’ love. They said it often and boldly. I never had to wonder if I could talk to them about something difficult because they had built an environment where openness was natural. When the pandemic hit, and travel restrictions made returning home nearly impossible, my parents stayed up for three nights and did everything they could to get me back. Throughout the uncertainty, they sent constant messages of love and support, reminding me that even when the world felt chaotic, I wasn’t alone, and home was there, waiting for me, and I was not left behind. 

Parents often assume that their children “just know” they love them, but hearing it frequently and sincerely makes all the difference. International boarding school life can be isolating at times, and having that verbal and emotional reassurance provides a sense of security.

Final Thoughts

Being an international student in boarding school was an incredible experience, but it also came with unique challenges. The distance from home, the cultural differences, and the occasional bouts of loneliness could be overwhelming. But through it all, my parents found ways to make sure I never felt disconnected from them.

By maintaining a consistent yet flexible communication routine, celebrating achievements, sharing small daily moments, sending reminders of home, and expressing love openly, parents can create a strong connection with their teen, no matter the miles between them.

The little things—those surprise calls, the care packages, the words of encouragement—are what I remember most. And if I could go back in time, I’d tell my parents that their efforts, big and small, meant the world to me.

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