How to Know if Boarding School is the Right Choice for your Middle Schooler?

In this article, we’ll address three critical topics that will help you determine whether or not boarding school is the right choice for your middle school child.

Let’s dive right in!

Academic Preparation

The top boarding schools in the U.S. offer a tremendous amount of opportunities to their students. However, over the course of several decades, their reputations have been built on the rigorous nature of their academics.

Schools such as Phillips Exeter Academy, The Lawrenceville School, and Choate Rosemary Hall offer top notch college-prep educations that challenge students to grow academically, socially, and emotionally. In doing so, they create a competitive environment for students that encourages them to perform at a high level.

When discerning whether or not boarding school is the right choice for your middle schooler, I’d say the first step is in objectively examining your child’s level of academic preparation. 

Questions to consider:

1. What level of academic rigor did your child experience in middle school? Would you say that their middle school appropriately prepared them for a college-prep environment?
2. How well did they handle the rigor of their middle school academics? 
3. How did your child perform on standardized testing? 
4. Did they have the opportunity to participate in additional academic enrichment programs? 

As a high school administrator at a boarding school, I often encouraged parents of prospective students to consider these questions and, while they are daunting and quite pointed, they are appropriate to reflect on as you think your way through all of your options. 

Ultimately, the goal isn’t perfection – it’s preparedness. If your child has shown resilience, curiosity, and a willingness to challenge themselves, they may be ready to take that next academic leap. And if not, that’s okay too. The most important thing is identifying the kind of environment where they’ll feel supported, stretched, and set up to thrive.

Living Away from Home

Now, here’s the big question – is your middle schooler ready to live away from home? 

As someone who’s worked closely with families exploring the idea of boarding school for their middle schooler, this was the question I found myself asking most often.

Oftentimes, as adults, we make predetermined plans for our children. Without question, I’d argue that we do this out of pure love for them and our desire to ensure they live wholesome lives and develop into their best selves. 

However, our children don’t always view our plans for them in that light. Sometimes, because they’re kids, they just don’t seem to get the big picture. 

That’s why, when trying to decide whether or not boarding school is the best choice for your middle schooler, it is imperative to examine whether or not your child is ready to live away from home. 

Depending on your location, enrolling your child in boarding school can mean that they’re anywhere from an hour to several countries away from home. Even if they were an all-star in middle school, the adjustment from middle to high school – in addition to their distance from home – can be a lot for many middle schoolers to handle.

As you’re contemplating your options, I encourage you to be inclusive in your decision making process. Chat with your child, gradually introduce the idea of boarding school with them, and gauge where they are in the process. Discuss with them all the opportunities and support boarding schools have to offer, and come to a decision together. 

These are exciting times and they deserve all the thought and care you’re investing! 

No one knows your child better than you, perhaps they may be reticent to leave home but would benefit from a nudge out the door. Or, on the other hand, maybe they’d benefit from attending a boarding school that’s a bit closer to home so that they can visit on weekends. There are plenty of options out there, consider them all with care but don’t forget to center the unique needs of your middle schooler in the conversation.

Try it out!

After doing all of your research and discussing it over with your middle schooler, you still may be unsure if boarding school is the right choice for your child. 

Well, rest assured! My final piece of advice is for you to try it out!

Many of the top boarding schools in the U.S. offer programs where prospective students can get a sense of what life is like on their campuses before they choose to enroll.

For example, Deerfield Academy in Deerfield, Massachusetts offers a program called “The Experimentory.” This program, which occurs over the course of three weeks, is an excellent opportunity for middle school students to sample Deerfield Academy. Through the Experimentory, students delve into project-based, creative learning that focuses on collaboration, communication, fostering creativity, building character, and developing how they look at the world. The majority of their teachers and senior staff are Deerfield Academy faculty, and many of their classroom and dorm assistants are recent Deerfield alums.

If you, or your middle schooler, are unsure if boarding school is the right option at this time, programs like this allow families to get a real sense of life at a top U.S. boarding school. 

Similarly, The Loomis Chaffee School offers prospective students the opportunity to experience the school community through “Pelican Preview Days," – a program in which students can attend classes with a host student and experience residential life. 

These are just two examples of how you and your middle schooler can try out schools before wholly committing to the boarding school experience. Seeing and experiencing the school in person may be just what you need to make a final decision.

Final Thoughts

Choosing whether or not to send your middle schooler to boarding school isn’t easy – but it can be empowering. By reflecting on your child’s academic readiness, emotional maturity, and openness to living away from home, you’re already taking a thoughtful, intentional step forward. Programs like Deerfield’s Experimentory or Loomis Chaffee’s Pelican Preview Days can offer valuable insights and firsthand experiences that help both you and your child feel more confident in your decision.

So, how do you know if boarding school is the right choice for your middle schooler? You ask the right questions, involve your child in the conversation, explore your options, and – most importantly – trust the process.

Looking for more guidance as you navigate your boarding school journey? Reach out to one of our experts here and we’ll be happy to support you on your journey.